Wal-mart Application

[tg1911]

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen

submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one

that will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But

seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't

be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz

style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can

haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and

post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a

more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU

FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would

be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already

be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas

with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the

greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST

OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.