Garden Snakes Are Dangerous!

[tg1911]

Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not

rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and

during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them

indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that

a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants

and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go

under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room

naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake

under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to

look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold nosed

him on the rear He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an

ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the

stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and one of

the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end of

the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is

still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she

called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He

armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under

the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat

down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in

between the

cushion where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed

and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor

man, seeing her laying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive

her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the

grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and

slammed her goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a

point where it needed stitches.

An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the

injury required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her

neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she

assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen,

brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down

the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man,

smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had

occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women

tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.

The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing

wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch.

One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the

snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the

sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the

bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through

the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled,

jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car

swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set

it on fire.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the

entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department

and the arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder when

they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the

overhead wires and pulled out the electricity and disconnected

telephones in a ten-square city block area.

Time passed...

Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was

re-built. The police acquired a new car, and all was right with the

world.

About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the

weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked

his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the

night.

She shot him.