Peaches Posted November 5, 2010 Report Share Posted November 5, 2010 Getting to No You "Dad, can I get a BB gun?" "No." "Can I get a knife?" "No." "Can I get some new, baggy jeans?" "No." "What about this toy?" "No." "Dad, is 'No' all you ever say?" "Yes." "Will there ever come a time when you say yes to one of my boyhood desires?" "No." "Does being a parent mean all you ever do is say no?” "Yes." "Come on, Dad, all I ever do is ask for stuff and all you ever say is no. I don't even know why I try anymore. Do you?" "No." "There you go again. I can't win, can I?" "No." "I still think it's cruel to only say 'no' all the time, don't you?" "No." "Can you at least give me some hope, something to look forward to? Will you ever say yes to any of my polite requests?" "No." "What if I give you one of my patented, adorable, pouty child looks?" "No." "Dad, I have an important question. Do you love me?" "Yes. With all my heart." "Then why do you always say ‘No’ to me?” “It’s an economy thing. Saves energy. And money.” “I’m glad you love me, Dad. I love you too. Can we get some ice cream now?" "No." “Dad, let’s switch to ‘Yes’ mode – it’s much more positive. I am a growing boy and I need positive influences in my life. It will help with my self esteem. So – do you think we can start saying ‘Yes’ now, Dad?” “Yes.” “Good. Now – about my requests – are you prepared to exert a more positive attitude towards my development?” “Yes.” “Does that mean saying ‘Yes’ more often?” “No.” “Are you going to say ‘No’ to me the next time I ask for something?” “Yes.” “Let me re-phrase that last question. If I were to ask you for a new bike, would you answer the question with a ‘No’?” “Yes.” “I’m confused. Did you just say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to my question?” “Yes.” “You’re tricky. I messed up the question didn’t I? I asked for a bike, and I asked if you would answer the question with a no and you said yes, right?” “Yes.” “You grown-ups are cruel, you know that? You always twist around what we’re trying to say. Are you going to do that until I’m in college?” “Yes.” “Dad, do you ever say ‘maybe’?” “No.” “You haven’t figured out a way to end this column, have you Dad?” “No.” “I think we should leave so you can think up something creative on the way to soccer.” “Do we have to go now?” “Yes, Dad. My game is in half an hour” “Can’t we stay here a little longer?” “No.” “Big meany.” “I heard that Dad.”Author: David Crawford. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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