Engineers

[tg1911]

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons

Civil Engineers build targets.

"Normal" people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have

enough features yet"

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing

whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building

a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because

the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?"

"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume

you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go

to the lab and get some work done."

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called

out to him and said,

"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said,

"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,

I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and

returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out,

"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with

you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it

back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked,

"What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and

that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why

won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said,

"Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a

talking frog, now that's cool."

[Vile_DR]

Engineers are just weird...and i can always laugh at their expense...