Dogs Who Speak For Them Selves

[martymas]

hi team if you own a pet dog yoall appreciate this

marty

Pet" Peeves That Dogs Have Against Humans

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Pet Peeves that Dogs have against humans!!

10. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!!!

9. Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

8. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose

walk is this anyway?

7. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!

6. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your

stuff up when you're not home.

5. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo --

Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

4. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I

freak out every time we go back!

3. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I

haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

2. Dog sweaters. Hello ???, Haven't you noticed the fur?

1. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth,

you're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who's boss here !!!

You don't see me picking up your poop do you ???

[blim]

Hi Marty,

Read this to son, who said, "exactly!'' Thanks, Liz

[bozodog]

Doggie rules:

NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark - a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.

GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never quite catch them. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. Eat a shoe.

[Vile_DR]

All funny and True statements guys!!! It is good to read the humor, it makes the day go by a little better/faster...THANKS