Coffee Break Humor

[Peaches]

One of these ought to cause a smile!

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive

new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss....the Pope only expects

you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the

bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink

spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,

there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the

impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large

trash can.

10. A brunette said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me

off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed My doctor refused to write me a prescription for

Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned

building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and

found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could

be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What

Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the

wrong way