martymas Posted September 18, 2007 Report Share Posted September 18, 2007 As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember : 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. 4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." 11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. 12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. 13. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mikex Posted September 18, 2007 Report Share Posted September 18, 2007 LOL passing it on. I am 4 sometimes.Mike Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted September 18, 2007 Report Share Posted September 18, 2007 Good one, Marty! Gotta pass that one on, too. thanks!Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 ... 8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. ... That goes for roommates too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JSKY Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Way to much truth in this one.... LOL Good one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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