irregularjoe Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 (edited) MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines Enabling customers to withdraw cash Without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined Below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."MALE PROCEDURE:1. Drive up to the cash machine.2. Roll down your car window.3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN.4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.5. Retrieve your card, cash and receipt.6. Roll window up.7. Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE:1. Drive up to cash machine.2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align your car window with the machine.3. Set parking brake, roll the window down.4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back later and hang up.6. Attempt to insert card into machine.7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.8. Insert card.9. Re-insert card the proper way.10. Dig through handbag to find diary that has your PIN written on the inside back page.11. Enter PIN.12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.13. Enter amount of cash required.14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.15. Retrieve cash and receipt.16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.18. Re-check makeup.19. Drive forward 2 feet.20. Reverse back to cash machine.21. Retrieve card.22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided!23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.25. Redial person on cell phone.26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.27. Release Parking Brake.SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT_________________________________________________________________Get a preview of Live Earth, the hottest event this summer - only on MSN http://liveearth.msn.com?source=msntaglineliveearthhm Edited June 13, 2007 by irregularjoe Quote Link to post Share on other sites
garmanma Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 I'd love to show this to my wife and daughters, but I got to live with them. If you know what I mean I'd post it at the ATM but it wouldn't last too long. All the other guys would be ripping it down to take homeMark Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Not sayin' a word ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Honda_Boy Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Haha!!! That's funny. I actually sometimes have to open my door due to the height of my car and my paranoia of damaging my wheels. Other than that the male procedures are right. I don't about the female one though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubba Bob Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Hehe, not nice Joe. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 i showed this to a lady friend and she said [excuse the language ]you bloody menmarty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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