Short And Curly

[martymas]

One dark night, as a group of American tourists huddled in Nelly's, a well-known pub in Killarney,

Ireland, a local Irishman sidled up to one of them and proposed a sleazy scheme to sell a cure for leprosy.

"I'm sorry," said the American stiffly, "I'm not Irish. I don't believe in leper cons."

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A woman had her dog neutered because she was told it would curb the animal's aggression.

But the next day it savaged the postman.

"I'm so sorry," she said, rushing to the man's aid. "I was told he'd stop attacking people if

I had him neutered."

"Lady," said the postman, picking himself off the ground, "you should have had his teeth pulled.

I knew when he came out the door he wasn't going to make love to me."

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Did you read about the woman who hadn't used a telephone in more than 30 years?

That's what happens when you have teenagers in the house!

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The community college where my friend teaches is next door to a School for the Deaf. One day she

entered the computer lab and noticed a hearing-impaired student signing away animatedly but, it seemed,

to no one in particular. She asked his interpreter if the student was okay.

"Oh, he's fine," said the interpreter. "He's just yelling at his computer."

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Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give

me a nice home and good food. My mum spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"

The other kid says. "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"

The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"

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Today's quote:

"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin." ~ Mark Twain

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[garmanma]

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give

me a nice home and good food. My mum spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"

The other kid says. "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"

The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"

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I've tried that more than once, they still keep finding me

Mark