A Real Friend

[deaf_girl]

Real Friends

Are you tired of those asinine "friendship" poems with decent intentions, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here's a collection of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

[blim]

How true and I love it, Deafgirl! Goes right along with,

"A true friend is someone who knows everything about you and likes you anyways"

I especially like Number 6

Liz

[JDoors]

Love those! True, oh so true.

I collect quotes so here's a bunch on "friendship":

Never Explain--your Friends do not need it and your Enemies will not believe you anyway.

--Elbert Hubbard

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; one should keep his friendships in constant repair.

--Samuel Johnson

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy--for friendship's sake.

--William Blake

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life.

--James F. Byrnes

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.

--Mencius

The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends,

And no investment on the street pays larger dividends,

For life is more than stocks and bonds, and love than rate percent,

And he who gives in friendship's name shall reap what he has spent.

--Anonymous

Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces.

--Austin O'Malley

Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

--Ambrose Bierce

A home-made friend wears longer than one you buy in the market.

--Austin O'Malley

Give me one friend, just one, who meets

The needs of all my varying moods.

--Esther M. Clark

Think where man's glory most begins and ends,

And say my glory was I had such friends.

--William Butler Yeats

Friendship is neither a formality nor a mode: it is rather a life.

--David Grayson

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

--Wilson Mizner

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.

--Thomas Jefferson

Friendship is almost always the union of a part of one mind with a part of another: people are friends in spots.

--George Santayana

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

--Kahlil Gibran

You can always tell a real friend: When you've make a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

--Lawrence J. Peter

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly everybody will side with you when you are in the right.

--Mark Twain

A friend in power is a friend lost.

--Henry Adams

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of

his.

--Author Unknown

So live that your friends can defend you, but never have to.

--Arnold Glasow

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends.

--Truman Capote

Find out what makes them tick, then tell time on their clock.

--Unknown