Irish Beer Drinking. Guide To Problems.

[snyper]

Feet cold and wet.

Glass being held at incorrect angle.

Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

Feet warm and wet.

Improper bladder control.

Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

Drink unusually pale and tasteless.

Glass empty.

Get someone to buy you another drink.

Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

You have fallen over backward.

Have yourself lashed to bar.

Mouth contains cigarette butts.

You have fallen forward.

See above.

Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

Retire to restroom, practice! in mirror.

Floor blurred.

You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

Get someone to buy you another drink.

Floor moving.

You are being carried out.

Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

Room seems unusually dark.

Bar has closed.

Confirm home address with bartender.

Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.

Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.

Cover mouth.

Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

You are dancing on the table.

Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

Drink is crystal-clear.

It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.

Punch him.

Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

You have been in a fight.

Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.

You've wandered into the wrong party.

See if they have free alcohol.

Your singing sounds distorted.

The drink is too weak.

Have more alcohol until your voice improves.

Don't remember the words to the song.

Drink is just right.

Play air guitar.

[nobody]

cute

[robroy]

This isn't just Irish, its global especially when drinking guinness

[mystified]

Since I'm 1/2 Irish (mother's family name was Calhoun), I'm qualified to post this.

There is a way us Irishmen know when we've had too much to drink -- we grab ahold of a blade of grass. If we don't fall off the face of the earth, we're OK (who's buyin' the next round?)

[snyper]

Beer is my friend.

[martymas]

im afraid beer drinking is universal

nz and oz have a reputation of beeing proficient

beer drinkers

their pubs are open 24 hrs a day

strangly you dont see many drunks on the streets

i presume they stay in side.

as a non drinker

i cant stand to be in the presence of drunk people

their true nature surfaces

tho drunk irishmen seem to get into a singing mood

when tipsy

and there isnt any thing wrong with that

drugs are just as bad as beer

marty

[JDoors]

... as a non drinker i cant stand to be in the presence of drunk people ...

As someone who's been on both sides, it's curious how all my drinking buddies became boorish morons once I stopped drinking. I stopped drinking, and THEY changed?

[martymas]

hi JD

i agree with that

like you ive been on both sides of the fence

and i dont have any beer drinking friends any more

some of them are good people

to beer drinkers

beer drinkers can get very aggressive

tho many like the irish

get a singing bug

i used to do that my self. carry my guitar to the pub.

and play hell out of it when i became tipsy.

i was popular in the pub

but out side

i didnt get the time of day

so beer drinkers are a

in a cloud of their own

marty