martymas Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 (edited) did this chicken actually cross the road DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.OPRAH:Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.GEORGE W BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle groundhere.DONALD RUMSFELD:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.JUDGE JUDY:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walksPAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gaytoo. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out thisabomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seeminglyharmless phrases like "the other side" That chicken should notbe free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - inpeace.ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the roadBILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?AL GORE:I invented the chicken!COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one? Edited November 16, 2006 by martymas Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 And here all this time I thought it was to prove to the 'possum it could be done! Love it, Marty, thanks!Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bearskin Posted November 19, 2006 Report Share Posted November 19, 2006 (edited) Baghdad Bob: The chicken never crossed the road! He is safe in Baghdad, miles from the marauding vehicles of the infidel! THERE IS NO ROAD!Halliburton: We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the US government $326,004.U.S. Marine Corps: The chicken is dead. Edited November 19, 2006 by bearskin Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thesidekickcat Posted November 20, 2006 Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 did this chicken actually cross the road What must that poor chicken think about all these crazy buttinski folks, acting like 'their heads have been cut off and all their brains leaked out', trying to make him go back across that road when it took him so long to safely get across in the first place before anyone was looking!!! PatGod bless everyone Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted November 20, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 And here all this time I thought it was to prove to the 'possum it could be done! Love it, Marty, thanks!Lizmy favouriteCOLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?marty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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