martymas Posted October 27, 2006 Report Share Posted October 27, 2006 i found these on another board and they are worth postingmarty.1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys andapes?5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the badgirls live.6. I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman, "Where's the self-helpsection?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is itconsidered a hostage situation?10. Is there another word for synonym?11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangeredplant?13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone willclean them?16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right tostart speaking?19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow roadsigns?21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?25. How is it possible to have a civil war?26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he becomedisoriented? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted October 30, 2006 Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 Oh, that's great, Marty! Copy, paste, email and thanks!Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubba Bob Posted October 30, 2006 Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 Glad Liz replied, some how I let this one slip through the cracks. Good one Marty I've always wondered this also:19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted October 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 this is the one ilike 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted October 30, 2006 Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 I've always wondered this also:19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? ... because they don't build one type of machine for walk-up service and a different one for drive-thru's? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubba Bob Posted October 30, 2006 Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 (edited) Take your logic elswhere Besides, how could a blind person read what's on the screen to know which button to press? Edited October 30, 2006 by Bubba Bob Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted October 31, 2006 Report Share Posted October 31, 2006 Take your logic elswhere Besides, how could a blind person read what's on the screen to know which button to press? No fair telling me to take my logic elsewhere, then ask a question with a logical answer! Just for that, I'm not tellin'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.