msdos6

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Posts posted by msdos6

  4. Anger Management

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take

    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

    someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to

    make.

    I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please peak with Robin Carter?"

    Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

    I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed

    the last two digits of her phone number.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and

    hung up.

    I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it

    in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had

    a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It

    always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

    calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,

    this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if

    you're familiar with our Caller ID

    Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed

    down the phone.

    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently

    waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that

    spot. The idiot ignored me.

    I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his

    number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

    number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole,

    too.

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    "Yes, it is."

    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

    "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the

    car's

    parked right out in front."

    "What's your name?" I asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    "I'm home every evening after five."

    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    "Yes?"

    "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my

    speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

    But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it

    used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

    "Hello."

    "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang

    up.)

    "Are you still there?" he asked.

    "Yeah," I said.

    "Stop calling me," he screamed.

    "Make me," I said.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black

    Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.

    And you had better start saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

    Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, asshole," I said.

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    "You'll what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

    now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

    1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw

    two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars,

    a police helicopter and a news crew.

    NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.

  6. Jim And Edna

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental

    hospital. One day, while they were walking past the

    hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped

    into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the

    pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save

    him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

    When the medical director became aware of Edna's

    heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be

    discharged from the hospital. He now considered her to

    be mentally stable.

    When he went to tell Edna the news, he said,

    "Edna I have good news and bad news. The good news is

    you're being discharged, since you were able

    to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in

    the saving the life of another patient, I have

    concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

    The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung

    himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am

    sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang

    himself, I put him there to dry.

    How soon Did you say I can go home?"

  7. Ps2 Or Xbox 360

    in Electronics & Hardware

    Posted · Edited by msdos6

    Wait. That's my advice. The PS2 will soon be obsolete, and the Xbox 360 has no competition right now. You should either wait for the PS3 to come out, or consult good ol' Wikipedia on the Opinion free advantages and disadvantages of the systems.

  13. Newdotnet

    in Spyware/Adware Information

    Posted

    I installed the Warez P2P file sharing program. After I noticed an increased amount of popups, I uninstalled the client. Now I still have that Adware called NewDotNet(in the program files directory) in 2 application extensions. When I try to delete them I cannot. Norton nor SpySweeper detect it(norton did, but I accidentally made it ignore it). Can anyone help me remove this from my computer? Your help is appreciated.

  14. Taskbar & Desktop Missing

    in Windows 10, 8, 7, Vista, and XP

    Posted

    I had installed the Workplace Shell for Windows 3.1 on my Windows 2000 computer. After rebooting my Taskbar and Desktop shortcuts were missing, and the workplace shell did not appear. I then opened Explorer via the task manager and followed the uninstall instructions for the WPS and uninstalled it. I still can only see the wallpaper - nothing else. Can anybody help?

  15. Http 404?

    in Website Design & SEO Help

    Posted

    I was recently visiting my site after a while of ignoring its existance and I have found a problem - though all the files are still in their proper place(index.php both in the www directory and public html directory with chmod 755), I have found that it still displays HTTP 404 whether I specify index.php or not. Is there a way to fix the problem? I do still have access to cPanelx to fix it if anyone can tell me how I could...

    Thank you...