kailuakid

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content Count

    21

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Posts posted by kailuakid

  3. Other Board

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    When I first attempted to login at the G4TTV,my first thought was that my cable had reverted back to a dial-up connection.The problem,whatever it is,will pass.

    The only bummer was the few (the usual?) posters who were vocally pointing out how this slowdown would never have happened before the TTV/G4 merge. :huh:

  4. Christmas Angel

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    And along the same lines for Santa having problems...

    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...

    How to live in a world that's politically correct?

    His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",

    "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

    And labor conditions at the north pole

    Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

    Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,

    Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

    And equal employment had made it quite clear

    That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

    So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,

    Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

    The runners had been removed from his sleigh;

    The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.

    And people had started to call for the cops

    When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

    Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.

    His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

    And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,

    Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose

    And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,

    Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

    So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,

    Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

    Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,

    Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

    And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion

    That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

    Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,

    Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

    Nothing that might be construed to pollute.

    Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

    Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.

    Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

    Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.

    Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

    No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.

    Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

    And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,

    Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

    For they raised the hackles of those psychological

    Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

    No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;

    Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

    Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;

    And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

    So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;

    He just could not figure out what to do next.

    He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,

    But you've got to be careful with that word today.

    His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;

    Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

    Something special was needed, a gift that he might

    Give to all without angering the left or the right.

    A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,

    Each group of people, every religion;

    Every ethnicity, every hue,

    Everyone, everywhere...even you.

    So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...

    "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

  6. Tequila Christmas Cake

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    Sounds like a restaurant where I worked in way back in the early 70's... :P

    Speaking of cats and recipes-

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    CAT LITTER CAKE RECIPE

    WANT TO HAVE FUN AT YOUR NEXT PARTY OR POTLUCK?

    SET THIS CAKE ON THE TABLE AND WATCH YOUR FRIENDS FACES !!

    *NOTE: THIS CAKE IS COMPLETELY EDIBLE!!***

    CAKE INGREDIENTS:

    1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix

    1 box of white cake mix

    1 package white sandwich cookies

    1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix

    A few drops green food coloring

    12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent

    SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"

    1 NEW cat-litter box

    1 NEW cat-litter box liner

    1 NEW pooper scooper

    Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan.

    Prepare pudding and chill.

    Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor.

    Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs.

    Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set mixture aside.

    When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl.

    Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy.

    Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

    Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and gently heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points.

    Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs

    over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.

    Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box.

    Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper.

    Enjoy! :blink:

  13. Bad Woman Drivers

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    I doubt that it'll be a problem with any who post here-simply being aware of driving problems is admission of paying attention when behind the wheel.

    Years ago I normally carried old sparkplugs and other sundry bits in easy reach while riding...only had to resort to using said equalizers a few times.

  16. Bad Woman Drivers

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    i think any licensed driver should be armed with a paintball gun...It should be our right to shoot any car driven by any moron talking a cell phone while driving or driving down the road with their right blinker on or eating while driving or driving while watching TV...

    See then if you come upon a car that's really coverd with paint you know there is moron behind the wheel and know to get out of the way

    Hmmm maybe a little to Scarlet Letterish eh?

      :blink:

    I second the motion,with the addition of giving motorcycle riders their handgun of choice for similar,but more permanent uses.

    -We'll need a lot of bullets...