snyper

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Posts posted by snyper

  14. [joke]dealing With Death

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

    The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

    The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

    The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied... "My wife's first husband."

  17. I Did Something You Should Never Do

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    I've always used one card so any problems would be more obvious, unfortunately it's not accepted everywhere (Discover - no particular reason I chose that one that I can remember, likely I didn't use it often elsewhere). I hate when I have to use another account. I've turned down offers or cancelled purchases just because they would not accept the card I want to use (and wrote letters explaining why they lost a sale).

    In Ireland all the banks use Visa or Mastercard, and wrap it up in their own branding.

  18. I Did Something You Should Never Do

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    I have two bank accounts one is for online purchases, when I want something I move money in that account. Any other time the account has the minimum balance needed to stay open and stay free

    You want to be very very careful there!

    Some times just the fact that there may be little or no fundson the account, you are still open to credit fraud. I know examples where money was removed from accounts with automatic OD's which can ruin your credit rating if not paid.

    But essentially yes, it is smarter to have a seperate account for online purchases, rather than straight out of your million dollar account ;)

  22. Irish Beer Drinking. Guide To Problems.

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    Feet cold and wet.

    Glass being held at incorrect angle.

    Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

    Feet warm and wet.

    Improper bladder control.

    Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

    Drink unusually pale and tasteless.

    Glass empty.

    Get someone to buy you another drink.

    Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

    You have fallen over backward.

    Have yourself lashed to bar.

    Mouth contains cigarette butts.

    You have fallen forward.

    See above.

    Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

    Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

    Retire to restroom, practice! in mirror.

    Floor blurred.

    You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

    Get someone to buy you another drink.

    Floor moving.

    You are being carried out.

    Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

    Room seems unusually dark.

    Bar has closed.

    Confirm home address with bartender.

    Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.

    Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.

    Cover mouth.

    Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

    You are dancing on the table.

    Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

    Drink is crystal-clear.

    It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.

    Punch him.

    Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

    You have been in a fight.

    Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

    Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.

    You've wandered into the wrong party.

    See if they have free alcohol.

    Your singing sounds distorted.

    The drink is too weak.

    Have more alcohol until your voice improves.

    Don't remember the words to the song.

    Drink is just right.

    Play air guitar.

  25. My Fav Quote.

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    This was quoted on another forum i visit, it was in a thread regarding "chatting women online" some guy replied simply....

    "The internet is a place where men are men, women are men, and children are undercover FBI"

    Gave me a good laugh!