Murphy's Law And Other Truths

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No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

Leakproof Seals, Will. Self starters, will Not. Interchangeable Parts, Won't.

There ls Always, One More Bug.

Nature Is A Mother.

Don't Mess With Murphy.

90% of Everything Is Crud.

If you're Feeling Good, Don't Worry, You'll Get Over It.

All Warranties Expire Upon Payment Of Invoice.

Where You Stand On An Issue, Depends On Where You Sit.

Never Eat Prunes When You Are Famished.

Friends Come and Go, But Enemies Accumulate.

If You Try To Please Everybody, Nobody Will Like You.

A Short Cut, Is The Longest Distance Between Two Points.

You Will Always Find Something In The Last Place You Look.

Anything That Can Go Wrong, Will Go Wrong.

Every Solution, Breeds New Problems.

It Is Impossible To Make Anything Foolproof, Because Fools Are So Ingenious.

Never Argue With An Idiot.

You Will Remember That You Forgot To Take Out The Trash, When The Garbage Truck Is Two Doors Away.

The Race Is Not Always To The Swift, Nor The Battle To The Strong, But That's The Way To Bet.

There's Never Time To Do It Right, But There's Always Time To Do It Over.

When in Doubt, Mumble. When In Trouble, Delegate.

Anything Good In Life Is Either Illegal, Immoral, or Fattening.

It Is Morally Wrong, To Allow Suckers To Keep Their Money.

Everything East Of The San Andreas Fault, Will Eventually Plunge Into The Atlantic Ocean.

Nature Always Sides With The Hidden Flaw.

A Bird In Hand, Is Safer Than One Overhead,

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, Is The Headlamp Of An Oncoming Train.

Celibacy Is Not Hereditary.

Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever Has The Gold, Makes The Rules.

Never Sleep With Anyone Crazier Than Yourself.

BeautyIs Only Skin Deep, But Ugly Goes To The Bone.

To Know Yourself Is the Ultimate Form Of Aggression.

The Chance Of A Piece Of Bread Falling With The Buttered Side Down, is Directly Proportional To The Cost Of The Carpet,

No Matter How Long You Shop For An Item, After You've Bought It, It Will Be On Sale Cheaper.

No One's Life, Liberty, Or Property Are Safe, While The Legislature Is In Session.

The Other Line, Always Moves Faster.

Anything You Try To Fix, Will Take Longer, And Cost More, Than You Thought.

If You Fool Around With Anything For Very Long, You Will Screw It Up.

A $300.OO Picture Tube, Will Protect A $.1O Fuse, By Blowing First.

If It Jams, Force It. If It Breaks, It Needed Replacing Anyway.

Nothing is impossible, For The Man Who Doesn't Have To Do It,

You Can't Be Too Rich, or Too Thin.

Any Tool Dropped, While Repairing A Car, Will Roll Underneath, To The Exact Center.

The Repairman, Will Never Have Seen A Model Quite Like Yours, Before.

When A Broken Appliance Is Demonstrated For The Repairman, It Will Work Perfectly.

A Pipe Gives A Wise Man Time To Think, And A Fool Something To Stick In His Mouth.

Never Eat The Yellow Snow.

Everybody Should Believe In Something, I Believe I'll Have Another Drink.

Build A System That Even A Fool Can Use, And Only A Fool Will Use lt.

Everyone Has A Scheme For Getting Rich, That Will Not Work.

In Any Hierarchy, Each Individual Rises To His Own Level Of Incompetence, And Then Remains There.

Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn.

A Smith & Wesson Beats Four Aces.

If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Obviously Don't Know, What The Hell Is Going On.

If More Than One Person Is Responsible For A Miscalculation, No One Will Be At Fault.

In Case Of Doubt, Make It Sound Convincing.

Never Argue With A Fool, People Might Not Know The Difference.

Nothing, Is As Easy As It Looks.

A Penny Saved, Is Not Worth Very Much

Living Well, Is The Best Revenge.

Every Job Will Take Twice As Long As You Expect, And Will Be Half As Lucrative.

The Chances Of Seeing Someone Who Knows You, Are Dramatically Increased By Not Wanting To Be Seen.

There Is No Such Thing, As A Free Lunch.

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