New Zealand Lingo

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hi team i found this on a new zealand chat line. it is typed in new zealand. accent


Last year I upgraded from Girlfried 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the

new programme began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of

space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included

in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all

other programmes and launches during system initialisation, where it

monitors all other system activity. Existing applications such as Friday

night Football 7.30, Drunken Boys Night 8.3 and Saturday Football 5.0 no

longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background to run some of my other

favourite applications. I am seriously thinking of going back to

girlfriend 7.0, but the bloody system won't uninstall! Can you help me!!

Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a

primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife

1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "Utilities & ENTERTAINMENT"

programme. Wife 1.0 is an "OPERATING SYSTEM" and is designed by its

creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge

Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating

files within the system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0

so nothing is gained. It is impossible to un-install, delete or purge

the programme once it is installed.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with

more problems than the original system. See in your manual under WARNING

- Alimony/Child Support. It is recommended that you keep wife 1.0 and

just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might

suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults

(PS). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that

occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action is to enter

the command C:\APOLOGISE. The system will run smoothly so long as you

take the blame for all PS.

Wife 1.0 is a great programme, but very high maintenance. Consider

buying additional software to improve its performance, I recommend

Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 4.0.

Oh...and do not under any circumstances install Secretary with Short

Skirt 3.3. This is not supported by Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause

irreversable damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.

Tech Support

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