Peaches Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 Useless Information* The ''sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick'' is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.* 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. * A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.* It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.* A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.* My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. * I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?* Out of my mind – Will be back in five minutes.* It’s scary when you start to make noises the same as your coffeemaker.* Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. New meaningsBLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. IRRITAINMENT:Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sultan_emerr Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 That's funny stuff. Thanks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 yes i agree there are some clever phrases in therei must save that thanks marty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted November 22, 2008 Report Share Posted November 22, 2008 (edited) It’s scary when you start to make noises the same as your coffeemaker. So, I should be scared then? PRAIRIE DOGGING Also: You gotta get to the bathroom RIGHT NOW 'cause a "prairie dog" is already squeezing his head out of its hole (ie., "I gotta go now! I'm prairie doggin'!").----- Edited November 22, 2008 by JDoors Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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