Appalachian-americans


Recommended Posts

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as

'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to us as "APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS".

And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -

She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN".

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' -

She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

3. She is not 'EASY' -

She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -

She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE

INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -

She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' -

She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' -

She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' -

She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

9. She does not 'NAG' you-

She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' -

She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' -

She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' -

She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' -

He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER'-

He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' -

He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' -

He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' -

He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

6.. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' -

He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' -

He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' -

He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' -

He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

10. He is not 'HORNY' -

He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants -

It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE'

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people while

making it more comfortable for the rest of us.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...