Son's Death Before Father's Day

[Bubba Bob]

I need some advice from yall.

My Uncle just passed away the night before last and both his parents are still alive. His folks are handling it pretty well, however Father's day is comin up and Im at a loss at what to do. I wish the damn holiday could be forgetton about this year, but that's not going to happen. So, I'd like to do somethign for my Grandfather but I just don't know what. Im not sure how to handle it this year...

Any advice would be much appreciated.

[bobbynichols]

My sincere condolences for your loss.

From a talk by a member of my church, Clifford J. Stratton, "Providing Emotional Support for the Bereaved or Terminally Ill":

"We sincerely want to help but are hesitant because we are uncomfortable in our own inexperience. Each time I assist the bereaved and dying I feel that same hesitancy. Yet there are ways to help, and the value that comes from the very substantial support and strength of a sincerely concerned family member, priesthood leader, or friend cannot be measured."

If you can be there with your Grandfather... be there. Grief is better handled shared with family than apart. Time spent with family, in times of loss especially, is time especially well spent.

Perhaps if you can not be there you could write a note of remembrances that you could share with your Grandfather and family: past holidays spent with your Uncle, funny anecdotes, and so on that might convey your love and appreciation for your Uncle.

[JDoors]

I'd certainly express condolences and if possible spend time with him, but a made-up holiday doesn't "require" acknowledgment at all if all it might do is cause even more grief.

[irregularjoe]

I need some advice from yall.

My Uncle just passed away the night before last and both his parents are still alive. His folks are handling it pretty well, however Father's day is comin up and Im at a loss at what to do. I wish the damn holiday could be forgetton about this year, but that's not going to happen. So, I'd like to do somethign for my Grandfather but I just don't know what. Im not sure how to handle it this year...

Any advice would be much appreciated.

That's gotta be hard. My condolences BB.

The only thing I can think of is just be there for him. You don't have to do anything special. Maybe just listen if he wants to talk.

[Pete_C]

I need some advice from yall.

My Uncle just passed away the night before last and both his parents are still alive. His folks are handling it pretty well, however Father's day is comin up and Im at a loss at what to do. I wish the damn holiday could be forgetton about this year, but that's not going to happen. So, I'd like to do somethign for my Grandfather but I just don't know what. Im not sure how to handle it this year...

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Remember there is a little observed holiday just for grandparents

GrandParents Day Dates

This year it is Sept7, which gives you a long time to plan something.

Hard to really give specific suggestions for you; but you may want to consider preserving their insight and experience.

Something like a digital voice recorder / camcorder .

Remember time is the most valuable commodity; don't waste it; and the communication is what makes us human.

Offer to spend time doing something they want or need to do and it will probably mean more to both of you than some trinket.

Yes , your uncles passing has suddenly focused you on the importance of your familial relationships; but there is no need to associate it with tragedy. Focus on good memories and things you did together, favorite family anecdotes.

[blim]

SIL had a hysterectomy a week before Mothers Day and she had no children. Daughter, not knowing SIL had the surgery, sent her a Mothers Day Email, including,

"Since you have no kids and you're like a second mother to me, I want to wish you a happy Mothers Day"

That meant more to my SIL than Daughter will EVER know. She still gets yearly Mothers Day wishes from Daughter, they are still so special to her!

So yes, acknowledge Fathers Day, your Grandfather may feel just as Blessed as my Sister did.

Liz

[Bubba Bob]

Thanks for the kind words and advice yall!

It's been a long week. And on the flip side, my Uncle's oldest daughter and her husband "celebrated" their first father's day as parents. The circle of life continues! We're all so glad he got to be with his grandchild for atleast a little bit.

Take Care

Edited June 16, 2008 by Bubba Bob