Peaches

The payoff The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather slick looking, well-dressed, just past middle-age gentleman. "Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I want to see Natalie," the man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else?" "No, I must see Natalie." Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charges $1000.00 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left. The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie.

Microsoft gives users Windows 7 free for 13 months Company confirms June 1, 2010 expiration date for Windows 7 RC By Gregg Keizer April 30, 2009 (Computerworld) Microsoft Corp. will let users run Windows 7 Release Candidate (RC) for more than a year, giving them free use of the new operating system for a significantly longer time than it did Vista's previews. Windows 7 RC, slated for download by MSDN and TechNet subscribers today and by the general public on May 5, doesn't expire until June 1, 2010, 13 months from tomorrow, Microsoft confirmed today. When asked why the company is giving users

PandaLabs: 91% Of Email Received In Q1 Was Spam Between January and March 2009, 302,000 computers were infected with malware to redistribute spam Apr 30, 2009 | 01:51 PM GLENDALE, Calif., April 22 /PRNewswire/ -- "PandaLabs, Panda Security's malware analysis and detection laboratory, today announced that less than seven percent of emails that reached companies in the first quarter of 2009 were legitimate correspondence. Some 91 percent of messages were spam, while 1.6 percent, or more than 1.1 million messages, were infected with some type of malware. This data is based on the analysis by Tr

Beware Swine Flu Spam Spammers seize on the timely topic to peddle meds, push money-making schemes, and even plant viruses of their own. Jennifer Kavur, Computerworld Canada Swine flu spam is spreading like a virus of its own and recently turned malicious. "Spam campaigns often start with harmless e-mail messages and slowly build into more serious threats, according to Stephan Chenette, manager of security research at Websense Inc. "Spammers are generally very well connected with each other and see how well it's working. It always goes through the test phase," he said. They test campaigns with

Phishers Target Facebook Again Ellen Messmer, NetworkWorld " A number of phishing attacks that have struck Facebook users in the past two days have put the social networking site and its users on the defense. Phishing attacks that try to get Facebook users to enter their log-in credentials at a fraudulent site in order to steal them have plagued users for the past two days, with phishing traced back to FBstarter.com, BAction.net and possibly others The viral phishing infection spreads via Facebook contact lists of victims.(Read more about security issues involving social networks) Ryan McGeeh

Snow Leopard Improvements You Should Know About - And a number of rumored OS X 10.5.7 additions By Sergiu Gatlan, Apple News Editor 1st of May 2009, 16:39 GMT "When was the last time you heard Apple releasing one of its products and saying that it would not add any new features compared with the last version? If you were prepared to say never, think again. That time was when it announced the release of Snow Leopard, the future addition to its family of OSes bearing cat monikers. And when it said that, it really meant it. Snow Leopard will not be an OS X version boasting a whole roundup of new

Mandriva Linux 2009.1 Released - The Spring just got sunnier By Daniel Pop-Silaghi, Linux Editor 30th of April 2009, 06:50 GMT This is definitely a great time for Linux users all over the world. After Canonical showed off their latest Ubuntu distribution, it's time for Mandriva to take the spotlight. Yes, Mandriva 2009.1, also known as Spring, was released today after two Alphas, one Beta and two release candidates. There are a lot of exciting new features that will please all of Mandriva's fans and surely make others take a second look at what this distribution has to offer. Mandriva 2009.1

Had a similar situation after updates on my main computer and it was a matter of unchecking MUTE ... I can now listen to music. However, on my old computer I moved my set a couple of feet over and sound disappeared .. checked all wires, etc. and all is cool. Sound is not muted. Maybe that is coincidence and can be as a result of updates ???- My drivers do need updating but they want me to pay .. free is not always free. Shall follow this thread and hope someone comes up with a solution.

I live on pain killers due to a chronic long lasting pain condition for which there is no cure . I never take any painkillers on an empty stomach however, when the pain gets intolerable even with using painkillers I head for the nearest hospital emergency and get a shot of demerol which knocks me out and then I am good for at least a month before pain sets in again or I trigger it. Alcohol ... I am a cheap drunk - one glass of wine and the lights go out! In canada, it is legal to grow marijuna for medicinal purposes but you need to get a permit from the government and have a medical cert

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior over the last year. "Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year. Th

• APRIL 29, 2009 Painkillers Get New Warning Labels By JENNIFER CORBETT DOOREN The Food and Drug Administration Tuesday finalized rules requiring stronger labeling on over-the-counter painkillers warning consumers about the risks of stomach bleeding or liver injury. The new rules apply to acetaminophen, sold as the brand name Tylenol and widely available as a generic drug under various store brand names. The rules also apply to nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, or NSAIDs. NSAIDs include aspirin, ibuprofen, naproxen and ketoprofen and are sold under brand names that include Advil and Motr

Here are a few more which are just jokes [i hope] .... How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you... Hi, I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anyone. Can we talk after the beep? Concatenation of events preclude our coming to the phone. Please speak freely, with magniloquence upon occasion of the tone. (Narrator's voice:) There ________ sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with __________ in the middle of it, his arms wind milling at incredible spee

Comodo Software Removed from Softpedia [uPDATED] Comodo's flagship software removed from Windows software database due to licensing problems As all our regular users know, programs awarded by Softpedia with the 100% Clean and 100% Free awards have been thoroughly checked by our team of editors and passed several tests. Aside from the fact that all programs on Softpedia are scanned with world-renowned security products, all awarded programs are installed by our team and checked for any spyware or adware components. One of the concepts behind our 100% Clean award is the "click-away worry-free

15 easy fixes for Mac security risks How safe is your Mac? Maybe not as safe as you think. Here are some quick ways to beef up its security. April 28, 2009 (Computerworld) One of the commonly touted advantages to using a Mac is that it's more secure and less prone to malware than a PC running Windows. It's easy to see where this attitude comes from: The prevalence of viruses and network attacks against Windows machines is greater by several orders of magnitude. In fact, a recent Trojan horse hidden in a pirated copy of iWork '09 that circulated on peer-to-peer file-sharing sites was big news

Microsoft Office 2007 Service Pack 2 Releases Today By: Joe Wilcox 2009-04-28 NEWS ANALYSIS: Two weeks ago, Microsoft announced that Office 2007 SP2 would release on April 28. For this update, Microsoft has pulled back from offering just fixes and minor enhancements. Service Pack 2 is a major update that includes new file format interoperability features and enhancements affecting many server products. Enterprises should make no mistake about what Office 2007 is and is not. Starting with version 2003, Microsoft expanded Office’s core functionality from the desktop to the server. Since, the co

Announcing VirtualBox 2.2.2 for Linux This new maintenance release fixes many bugs The popular, open-source, virtualization software VirtualBox reached yesterday, April 27th, version 2.2.2. Being a maintenance release, there weren't any new major features added to it. The following list includes bugfixes and added items that apply to the Linux client: · Fixed a number of bugs that affected both hosts and guests that were running the X window system; · Guest Additions will now make sure that the virtual mouse autodetection feature will work on the first reboot after Additions is installed on X.

Swine Flu Causes Spike in Malicious Activity - Watch out for spam, scareware, blackhat SEO and fake meds By Lucian Constantin, Web News Editor 28th of April 2009, 09:46 GMT Malware analysts from various security vendors warn that cyber crooks are capitalizing on the general public's interest into the deadly swine flu epidemic. Swine flu spam has started filling e-mail Inboxes aggressively at the beginning of this week, most of it pushing fake meds. With the number of swine flu deaths exceeding 100 in Mexico and the first cases already confirmed in the U.S., Canada and different EU countries, i

List of dodgy installers .... Adobe Flash Player - Google Toolbar Adobe Reader - eBay Desktop Advanced SystemCare formerly known as Iobit advanced one care - Yahoo Toolbar (selecting no will still do changes on the system) AOL Instant Messenger - AOL Toolbar Apple’s Software Updater - Safari Browser, QuickTime, iTunes Applian FLV Player - Yahoo Toolbar Auslogics Registry Defrag - Ask Toolbar AVG 8 - AVG Security Toolbar (Yahoo Search bar) BitComet - Google Toolbar BitTorrent 6.1.2 - Ask Toolbar CCleaner (standard installer) - Yahoo Toolbar <<<Offers ‘Lite’ version, without toolbar Co

Answering Machine Messages 1. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. 2. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 3. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or

My 1 day employment So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one'

Pinhole photography Thought it’d be fun to talk about this rustic, hands-on method of making photographic images! You can make a low tech pinhole camera using old coffee cans, oatmeal boxes (just about anything, really!), modify your digital SLR, or combine the two methods to make creative and often unexpected images. Creating your camera will take some time to set up before you can go shooting. You might not get the instant gratification of a digital image, but this technique is sure to have you creating images from an entirely new perspective. How To Make A Pinhole Camera Make you

57 Amazing Things You Didn't Know Your Tech Could Do! We've worked long and hard to come up with the best tips and tricks for your PCs, smartphones, cameras, game controllers, music players, and the Web. Let's start with PC, laptop, and networking tips. Zack Stern, PC World Do you often wish that the tech you own or use had superpowers, or that you could transform ordinary gear into something really great--possibly for free? With our amazing instructions, you can! In this package of six articles, we have 57 tips on getting the most out of your hardware and the Web. Many of the useful f

eBay scammer gets four years in slammer Busted By Dan Goodin in San Francisco 28th April 2009 00:13 GMT A man convicted of swindling more than $259,000 using fraudulent eBay listings and other venues was ordered to serve 52 months in federal prison and pay $252,000 in restitution. Derrick Lee Swantz, 57, of Lakewood, Colorado, was convicted in January of implementing two separate fraud schemes. In one, he offered luxury automobiles for sale on eBay and Autotrader.com. He used the phone and email to communicate with would-be buyers and directed them to make payments by making wire

April 27, 2009 4:23 PM PDT Puerto Rico sites redirected in DNS attack by Elinor Mills An attack on the main domain name system registrar in Puerto Rico led to the local Web sites of Google, Microsoft, Yahoo, Coca-Cola, and other big companies being redirected for a few hours on Sunday to sites that were defaced, according to security firm Imperva. Those sites and others including PayPal, Nike, Dell, and Nokia, were redirected to sites that were black except for messages in hacker lingo saying that the sites had been hacked. However, the sites themselves were not hacked, Amichai

27 April 2009, 13:26 Lost+found: Worms, Exploits, Online Scanners Too short for news, too good to lose; lost+found is a round up of useful security information. Today, worms, exploits, online scanners and counting sheep Conficker has caused an estimated $9 billion (approximately £6.1 billion) in losses: Cyber Secure Institute on the Conficker Controversy Security Focus exploit post obviously changed prior to publication: udev exploit - SECURITYFOCUS.COM edits your exploits F-Secure Online Scanner now supports Firefox through a separate add-on: F-Secure Online Scanner Beta Program